Questions!!

http://wn.com/Ken_Robinson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha28cpjndeE&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpc-t-Uwv1I&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LelXa3U_I

There is an English idiom which until now, I had never made sense of. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place.." I honestly have tried to make sense of it in the past and all that comes to mind is a funny image of a huge bolder rolling after a fleeing Umpa Lumpa. Today, I experienced first hand what it feels like to be stuck between a rock and hard place. Mine might not be one to be compared to World Peace, World Hunger, Global Heath Care, or a topic often sought after in more repressed civilizations, and then some, The girl child. No! Mine is simply an issue of choice.

Choices that I have not made and choices I have to make after I click the "post" button of this blog and choices I'm to make 2 weeks, 3 months, 5 years  from now. But then again, there can not be action without choice. So perhaps I have made all my choices. Perhaps I will make make all my future choices as well.

I have been browsing through a couple of videos that were posted on my Facebook earlier today and with every second spent watching these great minds masterfully speak about issues that I have for a long time overlooked or maybe just  pushed aside because I had to conform to the standards of a world so small that I have somehow managed to painfully fit, a world so afraid of the unknown, so afraid to experience what hasn't been. 

And for about 2 minutes now, you've been reading a lot of psycho bubble, half of which you probably don't understand and you're probably wondering, "Whats his problem?" "If he's looking to write a bunch of random words, why do one of those cross word puzzle thingies.." 

Questions! So many questions have come to mind. Many causing doubt of my moments purpose, if such a thing can be made sense of.

Why I'm in school? Do I wanna be here? Is this really the solution to all my problems? Will this degree guarantee my future success or I'm getting this to add to the collection of the 8 siblings that have come before me? Will I get that job? Do I want that job? Will I be able to do what is expected of me in that said job? 

Questions! Questions! Questions! 

Every question that pops into mind gives rise to yet some more. Right now, Edward Nashton's got nothing on me.!

I need answers. 

Once again, 

Signing off very distraughtly,

Yours truly 

  

Perfection? Take a hard look..!

"People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection which they cannot have and looking for it where they will never find it..." Edith Schaeffer

I have walked this earth for many many years. In my travels, I have had the opportunity to listen or maybe just steal a moment in the presence of what one may call pure truth of the hearts desire, or at least something thought to be so. One might argue that its mostly rumblings caused by distress from situations pertaining to matters of the heart, or perhaps just curiosity of what it might be like...

                                             "Perfection or is it Perfection"

Time and time again, there have been whispers heard on corners, debates amongst fellows, and arguments in cliques and amongst divas that have consumed tens of man hours about the "perfect guy" or "the perfect girl". Well as a guy, I can tell you,..No scratch that, I can assure you that the arguments amongst "guys" detailing the perfect girl are very easily resolved, mostly due to the lack of creativity and the inability to cogitate more than what is in sight thereby restricting the complexity of the issue of perfect to what we may not need to consider circumstantial but rather direct evidence that not only speaks for itself, but is a agreeable by every creature with a pair.... Its all hardly worth talking about.

                                                "Reality vs Fantasy"


The female mind is however one of many wonders.... Girls tend to explore more than what the eye can see, in fact most of their considerations are borderline fantasy, with an ounce of reality barely keeping a foot of their descriptions of "perfect" on the ground.  Now that is something that would interest a lot of guys with the right stomach. One thing that has puzzled me however is failure to differentiate fantasy from reality. Many times when we go on and on about the "perfect" someone. I'd assume that would be someone that is above what is considered to be average but realizable which might also contradict the used word "perfect".
Fantasy vs reality then brings about lots of confusion in setting of standards to which one must adhere...Personally, I try not to take to societies methods of categorizing people by physique, beauty, bloodline, wealth or whatever ridiculous criterion.  


                                    "To Settle or Not to Settle? that is the question"


I know this IT guy turned artist/musician and recently specialist on counterfeit detection that has his stomach turn at the sound of the phrase " I won't settle for less...!" It is so funny how there is no measurement for how much one will settle for. If a question was posed, "Martha, whats the least you'd settle for?" What is she to answer. Is the measure of "settling"? A scale of 1-10, or maybe A-Z, or perhaps Alpha to Zeta? And yet the phrase "I won't settle for less...!" is one that is used so often used. Less than what exactly...? One persons less is another persons more...


Do we always know exactly what it is we are asking for when we do so? I'm not so sure anymore. A 17th Century English Physicist coined a bunch of laws that formed the basis of classical mechanics. His name, Sir Isaac Newton. His third law, "The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear", or to simply state it, "for every action there is a reaction." This is a law that extends out to physics and into our daily lives. All decisions we make have consequences. Some of the things I've heard people say....


                                   I wan't a rich man that can take care of me.


Save for people dealing in narcotics, cleverly planned and executed heists, extortionists and the like, wealth is something that is takes years of hard work and extensive man hours to accumulate. And when society deems a person wealthy, he or she has to work even harder to keep that wealth. 
There is a very high probability that a very wealthy man works very hard for extensive time periods. If a man has to spend 13 hours a day at the office, and then travel for work 2 out of 4 weeks in a month, when is he to spend time with his girlfriend, or wife? The question is, do you want a man with a lot of money to take care of you or just a man with a lot of money....? Do you even want the man? Taking care goes beyond whats in the bank.

I want a man who knows me, understands what I am feeling, likes the same movies and books as I do..

Its probably a question of orientation. What you want is not a man, but a woman or probably another you... or if you do find a guy like that, he's probably not into women. If you are looking for a BFF, then yes, look no further. I doubt there is a man who knows what his woman is really feeling. Saying he does doesn't make it so, coz no one can feel for you. Only you can feel what you are feeling. If at the end of a long day and man is expected to stay in with his girlfriend, paint their toe nails and talk about bedazzled handbags and cute little pink drinks, then I doubt the void of a man in the relationship is filled. Men were created to be different. I know this is not 12th Century Rome, where men acted like animals, living each day on their primal instincts but I do think men of this century deserve to maintain some of what makes them men. Yes, they should pay attention to their women and treat them with the utmost love love and respect that is deserved. So is it a strong man, able to keep you busy trying to figure him out, what he's all about, or a man who is transparent and is a version of you?


                                           I need bad boy that will be faithful to me.


The description says it all. A bad boy. Swagger so good it will make you retire...! One thats wants to make you his number 1, the one that said he'd leave his wife for you or whatever other colloquialism that best fits. A bad boy is probably exciting, probably filled with lots of mystery and whatever is most attractive to women. But there is chance that he will not be with more than one woman at any moment in time. He'll probably lie, steal and cheat. But hey, as long as he's a bad boy...


         "The artist who aims at perfection in everything, archives it in nothing" Eugene Delacroix


If you ask me there is no such thing as a "perfect somebody", and yes we do settle all the time, whether for less or not is thought we do not indulge in. The wait for that "perfect somebody" blinds so many, at times they lose out on the not so perfect but really good people that are right in front of them. 


Just A few random thoughts, 


Signing off,
Yours Truly.




P.S.please ignore any typo's and grammatical errors, i really need to get to bed now plus with English as your 8th, wait..9th language, you'd be lucky you can write at all...lol


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Shed Off the Old and Put On the New!!!!

I close my eyes sometimes and I can't believe how ecstatic I was to be entering the new year, well one that I can now call not so new, old in fact; 2009 was a great year, not just for me but for so many people I know and even more that I done. For some reason it was a year that things seemed to happen, if you catch my drift,....Yes..?..No? Well, I'm sure yours was great too. I remember watching the sky light up with colors I didn't know existed and If i didn't know how far behind my awesome country was in nuclear physics, of which I don't thing we will be singing any nursery rhymes or even playing in the sandbox in that department for another 50 to 60 years, I'd probably think one of the reactors had gone haywire. But to steer back to the main points, it was almost.... beautiful...lol. OK, it was! No judging, I still love me some steak and potatoes, so I am still a mans man. Anyways, when the attack on Pearl Harbor was overs and the sound of the last explosion was heard, we rushed out of the city trying to avoid the crazy traffic, and surprisingly in a blink of an eye we were joining a couple of other friends for yet another round of drinks at slightly less fancy and yet a lot more fun bar. The night just kept getting better and the girls just seemed to get more and more intoxicated, and I know that coz the hottest girls kept hooking up with, well, "not so much their type" kind of guys; some guys might argue that its not such a bad thing..lol. The rest of the night is still a little fuzzy to this day. What I do remember is I woke up in a bed that felt like mine, and a room that kinda looked like mine, Fred Flintstone   bashing my head from the right and Barney Rubble from the left, I had my T-shirt on inside out, and my belt,... well lets just say I still want it back and to this day I hope to god, I didn't flash anyone.

A few days after " the incident", and the toxins had passed from my body, I begun to feel really excited about 2010. I had started the year in a rather unusual way, see,  no matter how much I drink I always try to remain lucid. So that was one of the few times I had totally totally lost time, one before, involving me in a bathroom and an iPod but the details never seem to roll off anyones tongue. Probably not my proudest moment. Before I really sunk my teeth into 2010, I decided to do a review of 2009 and a projection for 2010, I grabbed a note pad, a pencil and begun to scribble. Twenty minutes later I had written so much down, it was a bit scary, I had taken it more serious than I thought. There was so much I had to do in 2010, I wondered if there was something I was not telling myself, "Why so much pressure to get stuff done?", I thought to myself. Well, I guess its just the way I am sometimes. "Why so serious??", something I have been asked several times...
A few days later I was back at school, the scorching heat, intense humidity, the still leaves on trees to indicate no breeze, yeah, it was hell all over again. I wished for 2011. It started out great but then along the way, it begun to drag, and by June, I was ready to move on to the next year. I can't say it was entirely bogus, there were a few highlights, I got to be an uncle all over again, wait, twice this year actually, I got to make a few friends, I got to travel a bit, so yeah, it wasn't the worst year, but far from the best. I hardly got to do what I had set out to do and most of the year felt pretty much like a waste, well, now that we are talking about feelings, I'm sharing.

New years eve, 2010, and I'm wondering what 2011 has in stock for me. I probably started off with a a page from 2010 in one hand, almost falling back into my old habit's, trying to edit a few lines in that chapter but now I realize it doesn't matter what happened, I don't have to hold on to any of it. In fact, I best drop it all. I do have to start writing the next. When I think about all the days filled awesome days that lie ahead, filled with joy and happiness and of course the very few dark moments of sorrow, sadness and doubt to make us appreciate the good days, its amazing to know that I have a blank sheet right in front of me, a felt tip pen and hundreds of ideas on how to write this chapter. No more beating myself up for things that are really out of my control, yes I do wanna sky dive, and I do wanna learn how to fly. I wanna put out a record despite the fact that I have a better chance of finding Nessy than I do creating a melody with my vocal chords. I wanna do all that, and who knows? I might, I might not but either way, it won't matter coz I'm writing it.

So join me, and lets write it like never before. Lets make Art!

Happy 2011 People!

Signing off,
Yours Truly,


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The language of love..

I once heard someone say Love is the force that transforms and Improves the soul of the world. Yeah, he was 6"3, 215 pounds pro rugby player. I then asked him if the sunset made him cry. I think love is that that makes you kind of boring to those that are not in love. I might have read that somewhere coz I don't think I'm that creative. Wat can I say? I don't know much about love. What i do know is this, letting go of something that you felt you owed part of your existence, something that made you feel so good about yourself and probably for the first time made you want to give rather than take, when that feeling it ripped from your gut leaving a splodge of blood that that even Dexter, the blood guy can't figure out, you're probably gonna wonder "why?" coz that there is pain. At least so I've heard. They say you can tell how much a relationship meant to you by how much pain you go through when it reached its unfortunate demise. I guess when one weighs the pros and cons, its worth a try. 


"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." Mark Overby


But I have in mind a different kind of love. A love not based on poetry and song, nor joy and pain. A love that is not documented, one that I'm not sure I should call love...  and if I use the word love one more time in this sentence, I'll probably shoot myself. Oh what the hell,..
A friend of mine once told me about a language that has for so long been used by man to express his emotions and no, I'm not talking about sex, hey wait,...why aren't I talking about sex...lol. No, a language that is based on character and to the best of our knowledge gender. We called it "The Love language". And then we killed a goat.


Jared, is on a date with this girl Carole. He thought it would be fun to hang out outdoors so he takes her to the carnival. They are having lots of fun, the balloon dart game, the black hole bean toss, the baseball strike zone, he notices that she's elated and can't help be let out a smile every time she looks at him.  Jared is really psyched, he begins to feel like he's doing something right.
 As they walk off  the base, he places his hand on her lower back. They walk to a hot-dog stand to grab a bite. After paying for a few, they a sit at a table. Carole then unscrews the top of a bottle of water, sets the hot-dogs on plate and places it in front of Jared. She looks into his eyes and smiles. Jared responds by brushing her cheek with his fingers.  He is really into her, so they talk and he pays her compliments all night. She is ecstatic. 


Charles Darwin postulated a theory of evolution which I can relate to this behavior.  Males and females have evolved in such a way that they complement each other in almost about anything. What a man has to offer, a woman usually needs and the reverse is true.


Males are more physical in their expressions often using their hands, touching or caressing their companions. Its been noted to range from the gruesome grabbing in the most repugnant ways to the most "tender and loving" way, the right way. Expression by hand. As nature has it, females respond positively to that touch provided that it is "from the right person". 
Males are also more expressive verbally. It is not certain if their verbal expressions are  truth or just a means to an end, but what we do know is that they have evolved to be good at it. Females are very receptive to touch and are verbal niceties. It is the love language they like to listen to. 


Females are more intelligent creatures using their brains to express themselves in the simplest of ways and yet with the utmost  efficiency, a simple glance, a smile, a gesture, making males go insane as they try to figure out what it all means. Men respond to mind games, something that they are probably not so good at, but they opt for it anyways.

This has gone on for millions of years and will probably go on for a few million more, at least until we get to that point in time where we are all wearing a grey jump suits, and growing babies out of test tubes and petri-dishes at home coz human contact is abominable and year, human interaction is by mathematical equations. 
I believe our DNA is imprinted with an anomaly that causes us to behave the way we do, so I ask...


Love language, is it a myth? 




Signing off,
yours truly...






Ps, Please be kind enough to drop a comment,

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.." Coach Kenneth Carter

On a hot sunny day, in the middle of June in a village in the jungles of Africa, a child gasps for air as it takes first first breath. Its father so proud for bringing life into this world, celebrates with a simple smile at its mother, making sure his joy is not mistaken for weakness; its mother a few tears on the cheek returning her husbands approval. And the journey that has been taken by many that came before, begins.

Now Kijo like his ancestors has a set of rules that he must follow, Go to school, get a a degree, usually they say "get papers", get a job, find a good woman to marry, have kids, and ride out the rest of your life; at age 4, begin his education at a kindergarten, age 6, primary school of, age 13, secondary school "of his choice" which in most cases entails "daddy" making the decision and  having Kijo believe that it is the best possible resolve to the underlying predicament (which by the way usually is the school his father went to in his day), study really hard at O-level exams, only to return to the same school for A-level obviously to take on a brain crushing PCB/M. Yeah, all the science there is to offer.

For the next two years, Kijo will walk head up high, looking down on the rest of the students that can only offer him way less intellectual stimulation. Every night, when Kijo lies in bed, with only his thoughts keeping him company, he imagines what it would be like if he had opted to pursue a less challenging, less crushing combination of subjects as he finally gives in and admits to himself that he is not cut out to be a scientist. He discovers that that gut feeling he had to request for a different combination of subjects, be it a mix of the science and the arts, or perhaps the arts as a whole (Science students should not be mistaken by thinking that an arts program is any easier or makes one any lesser). "If only i had fought papa on this one..!", he whispers to himself, not to wake Mondi in the lower bank of the bed. And the as dawn sets in, the sun rises over the horizon, Kijo puts on his game face and continues to fool the world, all in fear that he is inadequate.

The results of his final exams concluding his high school are in and his father rushed to school to pick them up. On his arrival at home, her is met by a very nervous wife and son, with the wife thinking, "Oh, I hope Kijo did not dissatisfy his father..", and all that is running in Kijo mind is " 23 points, 23 points, oh lord, please...!". And as each minute passes the request in his prayer begin to reflect reality  as he now prays of 20 points, and 18 points and finally "Lord, at least 15..., papa is already going to kill me as it is...".

After twelve long and very awkward months, Kijo is shipped off to India to pursue an Aerospace Engineering degree. Yeah, thats not adding salt to injury. He struggles through his college years, barely making it through each semester: and after 5 years, he graduates with a mediocre grade. Still not sure whether he should be Engineer or not, he goes ahead to get a job. (Kijo could have been an amazing lawyer, musician, dancer, wrestler... the list is endless)

Kijo is in love with Sera. Sera is very beautiful, graceful, elegant, open minded. Sera gets a lot of attention from boys. Sera secretly has a thing for Kijo and every day Sera puts herself out there for Kijo. Kijo has never spoken to Sera. Kijo is terrified of Sera. Kijo is sad. He doesn't feel good enough for Sera. Weeks go by, and weeks turn into months, and soon, months into years. Sera cannot wait forever so Sera moves on. Kijo meets Molly, not as beautiful as Sera, a lot less attention. Kijo feels Molly would be lucky to have him, and after a few months, Kijo marries Molly. Soon Molly is pregnant.
On a hot day, in the middle of June, a baby is brought into this world.

Many nights while Kijo lies nest to his wife, convincing himself that he truly loves her, he stares at the ceiling and thinks about his choices. Imagines how things would have turned out if he had gone to a different school, studied for a different profession, and often wonders how Sera is, wondering what she might be doing at that exact moment in time. As he turns to his side, facing his back towards his wife, he wonders how different things could have been if he had had the courage to ask her to a movie, or dinner, or even just a minute of her time just to say hi, but then he remembers Molly and thinks to himself, "I love my wife, don't I?"

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..,
 I think not. I think Our greatest fear is  that we are inadequate. Period.
(go easy on me, this is my first...lol)

Signing off,
Yours Truly,
Mysterytechieguy

ps: that the best name could come up with so just roll with it. no judging on this page....lol